A Tough Decision We Will Make

A tough decision we will make

We have two sons who are very borderline special ed. For one son it’s just an age thing but has receptive language delay. The other son it is very noticeable he has speech delays. Both of them are getting assistance with their different delays however in the coming months we have decisions to make.

Our oldest son whose delays are in receptive speech which consists of him having difficulty with the ability to take spoken word and translate it so he can understand what is being said. He is the youngest in his class his birthday is practically the deadline/cutoff date in Virginia. Last summer we went through so many tests with both sons and in August one week before school started we had to make the decision to put are then 4 yr old into Kindergarten. We did not want to, he was too young and like any parent we were very over protective. I still am! He still has major delays in comparison to his classmates and I know as a parent each child is different and we SHOULD NOT compare our children with others but it is so hard when it’s so clear there is a HUGE difference. Our son has grown mentally and of course physically by leaps and bounds.

It breaks my heart to hear him come home off the bus and say, “I’m almost in 1st grade” My husband and I are pretty settled we will have him placed in first grade next year. The hard part will be telling school officials why our decision is that it is. When parent teacher conferences came around about a month ago we were suggested that it might be best for him to repeat Kindergarten. We know our son will be one devastated and two not really understand why he doesn’t get to move up to the next grade.

Our goal this summer is continue to help him learn to read. He went from last year not knowing any of the alphabet or numbers to now reading and writing on his own and being so curious to ask us how to spell things and he can even count to 100 by 10’s. He still has major issues with sounds and directions and spelling letters incorrectly but that may be a form of dyslexia which is a whole new issue and testing that we are not focused on right now. It truly is one step at a time.

I know there has got so many of you who understand how stressful, tiring and tearful this can be. This matter may seem like an open and close case to you but if you have ever had to fill out so much paperwork, go to meetings and testing, and answer the same questions over and over and provide reasons for your decisions; then you know sometimes you want to just have a good cry.

What is a HUGE struggle for me right now is our 2 ½ year old princess that is verbally leveled with her brother who is 4 yrs. They sound so similar I am having a harder time knowing who is which kid over the phone. The biggest indicator if I can understand each word than it’s my daughter, but if I struggle and have to have them repeat what they said then it’s my son. I know it’s only a matter of days to weeks that she will surpass him verbally and hard. Yes he is learning and has found his voice and it is so precious to hear him say words, but it hurts so much because I wish I could help him more than the help he is getting now. Next school year he will be in a class designed specifically for him and other children exactly with the same issues. He will have a more one on one approach and I am thankful for that. I hate seeing my boys struggle so much.

I apologize for my rant but I hope you all understand I like finding deals and helping you save but I am also human and life is crazy and has not settled down one bit since our kids were newly born my hubby is right we have had a whirlwind of events in our lives consistently over the past 3 ½ yrs.

Take some time to rest today and have a good cry for me if you would like, I know I’ve done a lot for all of us lately.

2 Comments

  1. lori

    I Fully know where you are coming from my daughter who is 8 been threw all the test and i been threw all the paper work to be filled out and sometimes i want to cry cuz it was a never ending thing but now she is in the second grade and she get special ed in reading and math and gets speech therapy and pt because she has a nerve prob in her hand and she also wears glasses that are bifocles what second grader wants to wear glasses like that? but she knows if she don’t have them on she can not see to do her school work. And on top of all her prob she has a 7 year old brother that has adhd,odd,autism,so i know how you feel i got a double whammy! But then i have a 10 year old that has not a thing wrong with him and i always wonder what the heck did i do wrong!

  2. Kim

    As a special needs mom of an undiagnosed and severely language delayed little girl, I want to tell you first and foremost you are not alone. You are part of a silent army of mothers and fathers who cry into their pillows at night, who want to scream to their friends and family and education department that there’s more to your child than their illness or delays. You are absolutely entitled to take a moment and just breathe. When I am struggling, I take Addison someplace where I can just enjoy HER being HER – not worry about her abilities. Watching her gently stroke a flower’s petals, or smile sweetly at a puppy…I know that she has so much more to offer than the limits imposed on her by her disabilities. Its a difficult journey…..all you ever want is happiness for your children, and though there will be pain in the days ahead, your son sounds like a wonderful HAPPY little guy. Remind yourself that the smile on his face is there because you are doing something right! Best wishes, feel free to read our blog, answersforaddison.blogspot.com, I love hearing from other moms of children with special needs.

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